Trying to Work on It

So, I looked back at my writing habits of late and they're not that great.  Sure I can make the excuse that I'm trying to get a manager position at my job right now (application is already submitted just waiting to hear that it is a for sure thing), but really it is just that.

It's an excuse.

I hate making excuses, but it seems like I do it a lot.  And that's really a bad thing.  Especially when I sit and watch these movies based off books or I read these amazing books and I keep thinking: I want that to be me.  My muse is ready.  It's there, I just have to push myself into that position.  I know I do.  I know that I can which is even more important.

And I really have to get out of that.  I have so many ideas and I even have one that's ready, I just, I don't want to publish it without something else waiting to join it in the next few months or however long it ends up being.  I don't want to be that person who puts up a story that clearly builds into a world and then never add anything to it.  That never seems right to me.

So, I have to fix that.  I really do.  I have to find a way to schedule time.  Motivation and reward and all of that.  Writing makes me happy.  It brings me alive.  It fills me with something that I can't explain and I refuse to give up on it and just let it go.  That means I have to come up with a plan and go for it.  I can't hold back.  And I have been.  I have been doing it for a long time.

I really need to stop that.  It's not good for me.  In the least.  I don't think it's good for anyone to hold back when it comes to what they really love.  So to writing I go.  If I keep holding back, it's gonna kill me.