Sometimes...

So I think that my laptop is trying to go out on me.  At least the keyboard.  Since yesterday or maybe before actually, some of my keys, particularly the lovely "s" that I love to use for so many words, has not been detecting when I type it thus causing me to do it several times.  At first I thought, hey maybe it's a crumb.  This happens sometimes as I have been of the terrible and very bad habit of eating around my laptop.  I just don't like to take the time to eat properly alright.  I know it's a habit I need to get out of, but I don't really like taking those kind of breaks.

Unfortunately, it doe not seem to be a crumb.  It jut seems to be the key not wanting to work properly.  I don't know why.  I am really hoping that my laptop holds out for me though since right now I honestly can't afford to replace it.  I have to find a job first and unemployment is not enough to replace my laptop no matter how much I might or might not need a new one.

I also found the wonderful news that my parents are actually going to be coming down the first week of May.  They told me they were coming down in May but they never told me when.  They said they would get back to me.  Found out from my step-sister.  Thank you mom and dad who still do not know that I am currently unemployed.  I do not want them to know either.  I do not want to have that conversation.  I know how it will go and how it will end.  That kind of stress simply isn't worth it.  I've already been to the hospital once for throwing up blood, never again thank you!

So, as you can imagine I am having to write this post more carefully than normal since I have to catch every letter that doesn't want to type itself up.  It actually gets really annoying after a while.  Alright, it gets really annoying really quickly if I am going to be honest.  It makes me want to strangle and or beat my laptop but since I kind of need it, I am jut trying to remind myself to breath.  I mean it does still function so I shouldn't really complain that much.  Beside, this isn't my whining blog, this is my writing blog and I should be talking about that.

So tonight at midnight starts the April session of Camp NaNoWriMo and I have to say that I am very excited.  It's nice because you get to choose your own word count.  As I have no job and thus no life, I have decided to shoot for at least 85,000 words.  I'll actually be working on two stories so that should help but the problem is that I can only work on one at a time.  And of course you would ask: Now why would you do something like that?

Well, the answer is because they are book one and two of a series.  You see it making sense now?  You see, I am going back to a very old story idea.  It was actually originally a short story idea.  I was actually writing it for a contest at the time.  I was in love with the idea.  I had started it on paper and then started working on it solely on a computer.  At the time, I had no laptop of my own which makes it older than I originally though.  It puts it back to Spring of 2008, a year older than I thought.  Well, I kept the story on a flash drive I had received from the college I was attending.  One day whilst coming from Chapel, it was a Christian college, the flash drive must have fallen from my pocket and someone stole it because I never found it again.  It was devastating for me.

I still had the parts that I had diligently put on paper, but having lot all of that progress took a lot out of me and so I put the story to the side.  I also somehow managed to lose papers since 08 and now.  So basically I am starting this story from scratch and have decided to expand and enliven all of the characters and especially the original idea.  I can't believe I ever thought I could do it in less than 30,000 words.  Looking back now, I see that clearly the story simply wasn't ready.  It is the only reason that I can figure I must have lost it.  The characters were giving me a sign.

Actually I'm just saying that to make myself feel better.  Really it was utterly devastating   I hate losing any part of a story no matter the length of time.  But now it will have new life and hopefully I won't stab my laptop to death in the mean time.

Wish me luck!

I'm Good at Excuses

So clearly I have not been writing lately.  Almost a month at this point which is really not good for you when you love writing as much as I do which I know a lot of you out there do.  I have been writing, but it's been for my roleplay sites which isn't a bad thing.  It's really good for socializing and it's also very good for character development.  So I won't knock it, but I haven't been focusing on my actual writing either which is the bad thing.

And I'm really good at making excuses for why I'm not writing or why I can put it off another day.  I'll even just sit there and kind of stare at a document sometimes and say well I can't think of anything so maybe I'll try again later.  And that is not the way that it is supposed to work when it comes to writing and I know that very well.  So I guess at this point there is no real excuse.  I have to stop doing this to myself.  I have to start sitting down and forcing myself to write unlike I have been.  Which means working on everything.  It'll help in  less than two weeks when Camp NaNoWriMo starts.  Of course I'll have to kick my butt into gear and write about ten times what I would normally write which is good for me because I think I need it.

I need to start looking at my writing more seriously.  I have the free time to do it these days.  That is what happens when you get laid off.  Not that I'm not still looking for a job.  I wouldn't be getting unemployment if I wasn't looking.  But when I'm not hunting there is no reason why I can't be writing or editing.  I have to get through my novels and start actually getting them ready for a point where I could reasonably publish them which is definitely something that I want.  It is a goal that I have never forgotten despite my failings in the area of my writing.

I am getting back into my writing though.  Just last night I decided to dust off an old idea and see if I could breath some new life into it.  I have actually been doing that quite a bit this year.  I am doing that for my Camp novel as well for the novel idea that I am developing for the Two Year Novel Course on FM Writers. So honesty I think that everything is working out really well.  Now the key is if I can keep the momentum or not.